Funny Quotes And Sayings | also for WhatsApp status.

Funny Quotes And Sayings.

 

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything…

Marilyn Monroe

 

It is the duty of the Patriot to protect his country from its government…

Thomas Paine

 

Skinny jeans are like calories. Easy to put on but impossible to take off…

Author Unknown

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research…

Wilson Mizner

 

I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug…

Author Unknown

 

When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father.. I’m very sorry, We did everything we could.. But he pulled through…

Rodney Dangerfield

 

Yes Madam I am drunk but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly…

Winston Churchill

 

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead…

Bill McGlashen

 

The broccoli says: I look like a small tree , the mushroom says: I look like an umbrella, the walnut says: I look like a brain, and the banana says: Can We Please Change The Subject?…

Author Unknown

 

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets…

Al McGuire

 

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing…

Emo Philips

 

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge…

Author Unknown

 

Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head…

Garrison Keillor

 

Your environment will eat your goals and plans for breakfast…

Steve Pavlina

 

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket…

Will Rogers

 

I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying…

Oscar Wilde

 

Money can’t buy happiness. It can, however rent it…

Author Unknown

 

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s good as they’re going to feel all day…

Frank Sinatra

 

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back…

Oscar Wilde

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it…

Franklin P. Jones

 

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax…

Albert Einstein

 

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments…

Earl Wilson

 

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch…

Author Unknown

 

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love…

Albert Einstein

 

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff…

George Carlin

 

Love is grand, Divorce is a hundred grand…

Author Unknown

 

To be old & wise, you must first have to be young & stupid…

Author Unknown